McGrains "Speaking With My Teeth Out".
Docherty got up to speak. "Lady and Gentlemen of the press" Siobhan Harridan of the Glasgow Ming squirmed in her seat " I'd like to
say a few words". "There has been a great deal of speculation in the
press about possible transfer activities. I'd like to sort out a few of the wilder stories that have been printed" He continued: "Yes, the club was interested in both Willie Nillie and in Nuno Comprendo. Sadly their personal demands made the deals impossible. Felching is condoned by
neither myself or my board"
"However" With that Docherty gestured to the wings of
the impromptu stage "We have made two signings I feel
will more than compensate. Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls I give you.....Zorro!!!!" With that the masked Mexican bandido swept into the room, cape flowing behind him, pausing only to carve a
Z into Gerry Archleckie's smoking jacket. The crowd rose in acclamation, the swarthy hero receiving a welcome fit for a folkloric myth.
Docherty surveyed the scene. "I also give you.........Andy McLaren"
Someone coughed. A forlorn, grey haired man slouched down the aisle
muttering under his breath. Suddenly a scream was heard at the back of the hall. Phil McCavity rushed in. "Is that a gun in your pocket or do you have an unusually large c0ck?" He lisped, his @rseless
tracksuit bottoms flapping in the breeze from a hastily opened window. "Anyway. Everyone. It's Tokenski Foreignerenski! He's been gunned down in cold blood by some asylum seekers!! What are we going to do?!!" A lone figure in the press pack stood up. "You couldn't make it up. Bring me the head of Jack Straw!"
Docherty couldn't contain himself. "No it cant be. It's ...Richard Littlejohn!!" The repressed bigot nodded. "The very same. You thought you saw the last of me at the Richenbach Falls, Docherty. You were wrong. And I aim to prove you wrong when I play against Raith Rovers this very weekend!!!" "I'll never pick you" Docherty yelled "Oh but you will" Littlejohn smirked " When you hear that I've kidnapped your daughter. A bit like in 24"
To be continued....