"He'll never play for Brigadoon Rovers again!!" Stormed tough talking boss Alex Docherty. "What?" lisped gay physio Phil McCavity: "But he looks like the greatest player ever seen! And I'd like to take him roughly from behind before showing him my sliding tackle" Docherty repeated: "He'll never play for the Rovers again because we've just received a bid of £32 million from Spanish giants Real Sociopath!"
wanted to pose with it ootside GOMA" Swake felt a passion rise within him, unrepeated since that time he felt all self-righteous about the council estate being built near his mothers home. "Who are you" he asked, lost in love. "Ah'm Adidas. Adidas Docherty. An gonae feck off ya w@nk. Yer drooling on my baggies" She stomped off towards the Cathouse. Finegan was stunned. "I think I love her! Adidas! Say it loud and music is playing. Say it soft and someone is playing Nu-Metal in a teen disco"
A voice whispered in Kurt Hitler's ear as he sat, morosely, in front of a coding machine, the ghostly Richard Littlejohn by his shoulder: "Use the morse, Kurt, use the morse" The ex-Jew baiter protested: ."Vill you cease vith ze Star Wars puns at vunce". Littlejohn sneered: "Have you forgotten so quickly my concentration camp commanding friend? Your father's sprit is, as I speak, on a twenty eight hour coach ride from Auchtermuchty to Prague to watch Scotland surrender a two goal lead. To a half wit giant." Hitler sighed and nodded. "Send the telegram at once!" Littlejohn commanded. Hitler began half-heartedly bashing out the required dots and dashes.
"Message-Unless Docherty -stop-makes deal with real sociopath -stop- he will never see Young Adidas' birthday-stop"
"He vill nefver understand zis" Hitler moaned. "I dont intend him to" the former Sun loony replied "I intend him to DIE!!"
Alex Docherty smiled at the ruinously alcoholic winger. "Mickey son" The gnarled no-sh1t taker said "I think I can guarantee you a glorious future in La Liga!" Mickey Finn stopped pirouetting in mid-air only to shake the lassies from admin from his impressive tadger. "But boss" He began: "Oi cant go! Oi've been denied a passport!!! And all because I planted that stink bomb in the supporters club in 1973!!"
Spain, I'm A DEAD MAN!!!!" He fell to his knees: "AND IT'S ADIDAS'S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!!!!"
Will Mickey Finn's minor offences against the Prevention Of Terrorism Act destroy his, BRRFC's and Alex Docherty's future? Will Finegan Swake move to act on his semi incestuous longings? Will Kurt Hitler escape the bonds Richard Littlejohn has placed upon him? All this and less will be answered in:
Brigadon Rovers XII - "Ah woo oh wooh ooh wooh oo
yaayhee I love you more than I can sayeee"