Kurt Hitler sat alone in the recently constructed holding cell in Holland.
His appeals for clemency and 423 previous offences to be taken into account had came to naught. He awaited trial by his peers. Or by a sub-human mud race who must be crushed like a loathsome insect, as his father used to say. "Oh Daddy" he wailed in his torment "How I wish you were here to help me in mein kampf" The door opened. "Hello my fascist friend." A muffled voice began: "We are being tolerant towards you as to all". The jailer, dressed in black PVC and a bondage hood, placed a tray in front of him. "Would you like some top grade Skunk or maybe some snuff porn?" "Nein" replied the chiselled Nazi "The amyl nitrate and KY jelly will do for now"
"I vill never go to the dark side" Kurt snarled to the apparition. "Ah but you will" sneered the spooky queer basher "When you discover that I have abducted your father's ghost and, as we speak, forced it to travel to Argentina, for all eternity, by submarine. Only to watch the Scotland-Iran game UNTIL THE END OF TIME!!" This was too much for Kurt: "Nein!! Not that!! Very well. What do you want me
to do" The paranormal pr1ck smiled: "You may leave here at any time. You have the key to the cell and your guard is currently distracted having his balls nailed to the canteen table by his lover. You will return to Scotland and await my command"
"And zen vat?" "And then, my Kraut friend, you will be my slave for ever. Unless you want Daddy to be at a perpetual Scotland-Costa Rica game?" A ghostly laugh echoed round the cell. "Arrrgghhh. Yah Wuhl. I will do it" The mildly militaristic Hun replied. "Good" The apparition replied "Your first job will be - DESTROY ALEX DOCHERTY!"
To be continued.....
Will the Brigadoon-Raith game reach it's exciting conclusion? Ever? Will Kurt Hitler escape from his Dutch seclusion? Will this start to make sense?
Brigadoon Rovers VIII - The Wild Rover