Brigadoon Rovers Chapter VII

Last updated : 15 September 2003 By goatboyuk69
(Following far too many ludicrously contrived scenarios to be summarised here, Brigadoon Rovers await punters on Scottish Fitba.Net bothering their arses whether they claim their first league win of the season in a poor attempt at claiming some sort of specious "interactivity". Meanwhile ex-fascist midfield General, Kurt Hitler has been taken into custody, awaiting trial for crimes against humanity. Now read on..........)

Kurt Hitler sat alone in the recently constructed holding cell in Holland.
His appeals for clemency and 423 previous offences to be taken into account had came to naught. He awaited trial by his peers. Or by a sub-human mud race who must be crushed like a loathsome insect, as his father used to say. "Oh Daddy" he wailed in his torment "How I wish you were here to help me in mein kampf" The door opened. "Hello my fascist friend." A muffled voice began: "We are being tolerant towards you as to all". The jailer, dressed in black PVC and a bondage hood, placed a tray in front of him. "Would you like some top grade Skunk or maybe some snuff porn?" "Nein" replied the chiselled Nazi "The amyl nitrate and KY jelly will do for now"

You can see through Littlejohn's plans
The jailer left leaving Kurt alone with his thoughts. Escape! He looked around the cell. Nothing seemed likely to assist him. Suddenly he became aware of a shimmering figure before him. "Kurt" A ghostly voice said. "Use the fork Kurt. Use the fork" "Vas ist das?" The German looked around the cell once more before realising a huge garden fork had been foolishly left in the corner together with a key, a package of semtex and an AK-47. The ghostly presence spoke once more. The voice said: "It is I, Richard Littlejohn" Stunned Kurt said: "Vas!?? But you are dead. I exterminated you" "That you did, Kurt. But we have too much in common for that to get in the way. Together we could rule the universe. Or at least a mid-table Scottish 1st division football club"

"I vill never go to the dark side" Kurt snarled to the apparition. "Ah but you will" sneered the spooky queer basher "When you discover that I have abducted your father's ghost and, as we speak, forced it to travel to Argentina, for all eternity, by submarine. Only to watch the Scotland-Iran game UNTIL THE END OF TIME!!" This was too much for Kurt: "Nein!! Not that!! Very well. What do you want me
to do" The paranormal pr1ck smiled: "You may leave here at any time. You have the key to the cell and your guard is currently distracted having his balls nailed to the canteen table by his lover. You will return to Scotland and await my command"

"And zen vat?" "And then, my Kraut friend, you will be my slave for ever. Unless you want Daddy to be at a perpetual Scotland-Costa Rica game?" A ghostly laugh echoed round the cell. "Arrrgghhh. Yah Wuhl. I will do it" The mildly militaristic Hun replied. "Good" The apparition replied "Your first job will be - DESTROY ALEX DOCHERTY!"

To be continued.....


Will the Brigadoon-Raith game reach it's exciting conclusion? Ever? Will Kurt Hitler escape from his Dutch seclusion? Will this start to make sense?

Next Episode:

Brigadoon Rovers VIII - The Wild Rover

Editorial Team

Ger Harley (
Vanderhogg (